Remembering

Just read a post from a family bringing home their daughter from Ethiopia...read it here

As I read it and looked at the pictures, my heart was filled with emotions and memories of another land and another journey...  Oh how much God has done in our daughter and us (especially me)!  There were dark days and nights and moments where our hearts were breaking as hers was clearly broken...but joy comes in the morning!  Beautiful transformation and oh the days ahead...  What does God have for this little one He has held in His hand?  This little one who has known heart breaking grief and loss...who has traveled around the world in complete strangers arms...  I remember one night in India that I felt her touching my face as I was sleeping next to her.  What was traveling through her mind and heart at that moment?  We both were experiencing so much that there are no words for the moments of knowing this thing...this bond...is only one that God alone can do...  She is precious, ornery, sweet, forgiving, deep thinking, determined, observant, resilient...my baby girl...Lydia.

I never want to forget...

 that God's amazing grace is sufficient...

If any adoptive Mommas (or Dads) click into this...our baby girl has expressed some amazing thoughts from her little heart...  I guess I'd love to hear how other children process their journeys.  I never know how much to share or how much to let her one day share, but at the same time this is a journey that we need others.  So, I share these thoughts with the heart of amazement at my daughter's heart.  Also, our approach with L has been to tell and share the truth of all aspects of her journey in simple, age appropriate language.  We have tried our best not to add in things that we do not know or emotional words attached to how her birth family "felt".  This is something we simply do not know.  We do share all the pictures and information we have, and we plan to continue to share this with her as she leads through her journey.  All that to share these comments and questions from a little girl's heart...

After being home for around 9 months, she was just really expressing herself in English.   We were looking through all the pictures of her in India.  I was explaining that her friends were with her and these were pictures we received while we were waiting to come meet her.  She pointed to one with her standing in her crib with a blank stare.  She said, "I was crying...where is my Mommy?  Where is my Daddy?"  I am still amazed by this...  This is from a 3 1/2 year old expressing her heart...

Not too long ago, I showed her a picture of a little girl that is in her orphanage waiting for her family to come.  Her family just received word that they have passed the next step in the process.  I showed her the picture to which she replied..."She looks like me!  But Mommy my friends don't have Mommy's and Daddy's."  I assured her this little friend did have a family.  We were able to look at pictures on facebook which L was excited that she has a brother and a sister too.  (I pray that all the children may find forever families!)

Just recently, we were laying in bed and she turned to me and said, "When I didn't have a family, I prayed to God that He would send them to me."  What little daughter?  You are amazing, sweet girl!

I guess I write these things to encourage those in the process and those with their sweet ones home.  Some days and moments are beautiful and some are very had.  As a mother, there are many times were I feel completely inadequate or quite frankly a complete failure.  Well, I am both...  Completely inadequate and a complete failure at times.  That is why I am so thankful that my children's needs are not to be met by me!  I am just blessed to be a part of their journey.  God holds them in His hands and I can trust Him to meet their needs and mine.  He is the one who has created this family and holds us together...teaching us how to love, forgive, laugh, and walk...  He is the one who holds my 10 year old quickly leaving childhood behind to a time of changing quickly.  He is the one who holds my 5 year old as he jumps and runs and creates action and laughter all around!  He is the one who holds my 4 year old as her sweet heart grows and accepts and questions all that her young life has experienced!  Thank you Lord and help me never to forget!